Why don’t you know what you want?
Welcome to Week 4 of New Year, New View- a workbook series to support you in being the most authentic version of you.
When neurodivergent creative people try to set goals, a few different things often happen.
Let’s get magical!…
You 100% believe you can become a millionaire / synth savant / someone who is always on time (or whatever your goal is) in 6 months. Probably less tbh.
Then reality says hello and the gap between where you are and where you thought you’d be feels bloody awful.
So you avoid the work, avoid people that remind you of your goal, and start questioning everything.
It’s not that your ambition is wrong, it’s just that often we need a lot more support to execute our plans but we mistakenly believe magical thinking and the force of our will get us there.
…and go to the moon!
You’re a never-ending time wrangler so when someone asks:
“Where do you want to be in a year?”
You think: “I don’t know where I want to be next week mate!”
But you say something you think they want to hear and hey presto!- now you’ve got a goal that:
doesn’t relate to your current life
doesn’t connect to how you actually work
and makes you feel like you’re failing before you’ve even started
…or maybe we’ll got to Venus instead?…
You hesitate to commit because yes, you want something.
But you also know:
your interests change
your energy fluctuates
your focus isn’t consistent
So how do you trust that this goal will stick?
And if you don’t trust yourself, why would anyone else?
…or just up and down like a celebrity in an Amazon rocket?
Some days you’re clear, motivated, certain, then maybe something happens- or it doesn’t.
And suddenly you’re questioning:
whether it’s worth it
whether you’re any good
whether anyone else cares
Same goal. Different day. Completely different story- and if this one sticks, there will be no more forward motion.
Or maybe stare out into nothingness
You might not believe you are worthy of wanting or receiving or reaching for meaningful things- your history, your intersectionality, your undiagnosed neurodivergence (and the rest) might limit what you think is possible for you.
Somewhere along the way, you learned:
not to expect too much
not to take up too much space
not to assume things are for you
…But if not you, then who? If not now, then when?
What do you want and why?
Some useful questions to ask yourself when working out what you want
Ok Google, so what’s actually going on?
There’s often a gap between:
what you might want
and what feels possible
And that gap gets filled with:
past experiences
lack of support
inconsistent energy
other people’s expectations
systems that don’t fit you
So instead of clarity, you get:
over-ambitious goals
vague goals
constantly changing goals
or no goals at all
Example Exercise
The Poirot Pivot Minute-
Get your magnifying glass out and employ the RSD Detective Agency when you need to stop feeling like a walking crime scene and rewrite that self-narrative
This isn’t about “picking better goals”
It’s about understanding:
why you want something
whether it’s actually yours
what’s getting in the way
what would make it more doable
And sometimes starting with what you don’t want to repeat is far more useful than trying to force a big vision.
Try:
noticing what has and hasn’t worked before
understanding your patterns
separating your wants from other’s expectations
building something that fits your life NOW!
Week 4 of New Year, New View – The Unencumbered You is about:
working out what you actually want
understanding why it matters
spotting what’s getting in the way
and starting to move from ideas into something more concrete
In a way that actually connects to how you think, work and create.
You can check it out below and get immediate access when you sign up to my mailing list- enjoy and let me know how you get on!
